Medium

Medium - Part 1

me·di·um

/ˈmēdēəm/

noun

1.an agency or means of doing something.

"using the latest technology as a medium for job creation"

2.the intervening substance through which impressions are conveyed to the senses or a force acts on objects at a distance.

"radio communication needs no physical medium between the two stations"

💫A medium is exactly what it sounds like - the go between. I am a medium between those who have passed away and their living loved ones. There are lots of types of mediums, far too many for me to go into on this post. So, let’s talk about me. Lots of times clients ask "how does it work?".

🙋🏼‍♀️For me, spirits mostly communicate through the five basic Clair's(there are many more than five, but again that's a whole other post): Clairvoyance (clear seeing), Claircognizance (clear knowing), Clairaudience (clear hearing), Clairsentience (clear feeling), and Clairalience (clear smelling).

❤️Now I want to be clear (hahaha), anyone can be a Medium. Most of us blocked the ability out of fear, lack of faith and self confidence, or just general disbelief. Some of us could not avoid it or like me, blocked it out. There was a time when I had no control over the downloads I would receive or when I would receive them. It was an overwhelming presence in my life.

🔮I'd like to share with you how I discovered I was a Psychic Medium and how I was able to find balance with my gift. This is a very vulnerable and raw account of this part of my life, so I’ve released it in small pieces. It's a story I have previously only shared with my nearest and dearest, mostly those who were with me as this all unfolded.

⭐️It's my hope that by being transparent about my story, I will help others understand their own gifts and afford me the opportunity to help others along their journey. So,stay tuned as I share my story here on this page.

Pt2

Medium - Part 2

👧🏼As a child I could feel other people's feelings, but I did not know that they weren't my own. That's intense for a five year old! I also had "imaginary friends". I remember that they spoke to me and played with me. As I grew older I became aware of how odd I was in comparison to my peers. I stopped talking to my "imaginary friends" and no longer talked about feeling others emotions. I still always felt out of place and odd. I used to ask my mom if I was adopted - like are you sure I'm not adopted??? At least, I thought, that would explain why I feel so different.

🙇🏼‍♀️In my preteen and early teenage years, I started sharing with a few close friends that I could feel others emotions. I acknowledged that I knew it wasn't a real thing and that I must be crazy. My friends agreed or just didn't respond and awkwardly changed the subject.

🏕The summer before I was to start high school, I went away on our annual family trip. One day, we went into town and I visited a bookstore. Our parents allowed my sister and I to choose one item that they would purchase for us and if we wanted a larger priced item, we could use our own money to offset the cost. I asked my mom to buy me a deck of tarot cards and a book to explain how to use them. I paid for some and she paid for the rest. I immediately felt connected to the cards. I was enamored with them.

🔮I started doing readings for friends. As things I saw in readings started to come to fruition, it was intense and scary and made me seem weirder than I already was. So I stopped reading the cards. The more I ignored my intuition and guidance from spirit, the more my anxiety grew and intensified. I continued with unhealthy habits to manage my anxiety through my high school years and early 20’s including self mutilation, food addiction, and ultimately drug and alcohol abuse. These things all numbed the pain of feeling others emotions and blocked the communication of those who passed away. I still did not truly believe I had a gift, but rather thought that I was a crazy and broken person.

👶🏼In my first attempt to get sober at 24, I sought help from a psychiatrist who also believed I was a crazy and broken person. He prescribed a number of psychiatric drugs to help me. These too, I believe also blocked me. I finally was able to get sober on June 20, 2007 with the help of that doctor, a 12 step program, and later a relationship with a creator of my own understanding. In my early 30’s I realized I wanted to become a mom and most of the medications I was taking would not be safe for pregnancy. I wanted to be off all medications for a year before getting pregnant. So, with the help of my doctor, I came off all my psychiatric medications. I was finally medication free. This was a huge turning point in my life.

💫For the first time in my adult life, I was stone cold sober and medication free. I was raw. But I was okay. I had a relationship with a higher power, a 12 step program that provided a design for living that really worked, and I was engaged to be married to the partner that was meant for me. I had no idea that in less than two weeks, my whole life would be turned upside down. I was about to embark on a huge journey of self discovery and healing that began with the most painful experience I had endured up until that point in my life.

Medium - Part 3

👰On July 8, 2012, about two weeks after coming off the last psychiatric medication, I woke from a dream of my upcoming wedding. In the dream I could smell the room, see the colors, and hear the music. The song that was playing was "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. It was the song my dad and I had recently agreed to dance to at my wedding. In the dream I'm sitting at a sweetheart table with my new husband and listening to “I Loved Her First” and feeling so strange. Like I'm supposed to be dancing with Dad right now, but here I am sitting with my new husband instead... I didn't think too much of it, because dreams are weird.

📵At work, I heard a different song on the radio that always made me think of my relationship with my Dad by Mike and the Mechanics called "The Living Years". It wasn't a common song to hear on the radio at work, and I wanted to text my Dad and say hi. But he refused to text. We weren't close enough where I felt I could just call to say hi. I remember being very annoyed with him that I couldn't text him to say hello. The day went on and I didn't notice anything significant about the dream or the song and the desire to reach out.

💔I was woken early on July 9, 2012 by the sound of my cell phone ringing. I started screaming upon opening my eyes. I knew. I looked at the phone and it said "Dad Cell". I answered. It was my father's wife. I'll never forget her shaky voice. "Corrie, ...." "just tell me!!" "your dad passed away". I screamed. I raged and punched the wall. Why didn't I call him yesterday????? I decided to take my dog for a walk that morning, not knowing what to do with myself. As I was walking and crying hysterically, I felt my Dad's energy. It felt very familiar, but also very different. I was uncertain and confused. I heard in my head "I get all the pieces of the puzzle now". Being very alike, we both had huge egos and struggled to talk about our feelings. I grew up with him being pretty direct about our relationship struggles being my fault and responsibility. So to hear that he "gets it" seemed like it could not have come from him.

💫From that day on, I began getting clear connections and communication from spirits. It came in the form of images in my head, sensations in my body, and hearing my own voice in my head. These little pieces of information made no sense to me. I was very raw, feeling other people's emotions as my own. I had no buffer now without drugs, alcohol or psychiatric meds. I was pretty sure my father's death had pushed me over the edge from borderline crazy to full blown insane. I was living in chronic physical and emotional pain.

🎁In December 2012 I was out Christmas shopping and stopped into a metaphysical healing center looking for a few gifts. There was a medium there who had one appointment left. I didn't believe she could be legit, but felt called to meet with her. I took the appointment. Upon sitting down, I told her with my arms crossed and my most direct skeptical tone that I don't care about the future. I wanted to know about her mediumship skills.

🧩She looked like she was listening to a conversation that I couldn't hear. She then told me she had my Dad there. She said he had a strong personality and was a firefighter (he was a retired lieutenant in my hometown and a call firefighter in Maine where his 2nd home was). She told me he died of a heart attack, which was also true. I stared at her in disbelief. I unfolded my arms and the tears came. She then said "he says he sees all the pieces of the puzzle clearly now". I just about died! It was the first PROOF I had that I was not crazy. That I HAD heard my Dad in my head the morning he died.

🕊I told my Mom about the communication I received the morning my Dad had died, and the confirmation I received from the medium. I also shared my feelings about being able to feel others emotions. She shared that she could relate and had been working events doing psychic readings for a number of years. I was floored. I had no idea! She suggested I take a quick tarot reading course and start doing these events with her, which I did. I broke out my tarot deck for the first time in years. I started working as a contracted psychic at these 2-5 hour corporate events where we do 5-7 minute tarot readings. I was blown away as the attendees were confirming that what I was seeing was accurate!

💥Maybe I'm not AS crazy as I thought!! But I still did not believe I was psychic. I mean people have premonitions all the time about their own family or loved ones. I could not have known that this was the beginning of something much bigger than I could have ever imagined for myself.

Pt4

Medium Part 4

📩In January 2013 I met my Shaman. The meeting occurred very naturally. She looked at me from across the room at an event we were both presenting at (unrelated to anything like this) and then came over to me to explain that she was the spiritual advisor to a mutual friend (who was running the event) and that she would like to schedule a time to do a reading for me. Immediately during the first reading she told me I was an Empath. This was a term I'd never heard of. But wow - I felt validated for one of the first times in my life! This woman helped me decipher the messages I had been receiving.

🌱Initially I would see people in my peripherals and/or hear people's voices in my ear that "weren't there " . In one particular situation I was working at a retail greenhouse. I was helping a customer and another customer walked past me. She looked EXACTLY like my childhood friend's mom - but she was younger than she could possibly be. In confusion, I blurted out "Catherine??" This woman looked at me like I had offended her. She paused briefly and said "No." and continued to shop. I felt very awkward and embarrassed. Like obviously it wasn't Mrs. Stover, she would have been 10 or 12 years older, this woman looked even younger that Mrs. Stover was when she used to drive me to school.

🤔When the woman came to the checkout area, I said "I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't offend you. You look like someone I used to know''. She very dryly and suspiciously said "what are you some kind of psychic or something" I responded awkwardly "or something hahaha. I don't know.” Even though I had been doing quick 5-7 minute readings at events and my Shaman told me I was an empath, I still didn't believe it was possible. I had convinced myself that it was all coincidental that these clients were confirming what I was telling them or that they just wanted to believe 🤦🏼‍♀️(I had no idea until recently that this is called imposter syndrome. Look it up!). She asked me what I had to share with her. I very sheepishly began to tell her I saw Nantucket Island in my head (which I had never been to, but Mrs. Stover had a connection too.). I told her that she was one of four but was special. She was different from the others. I also saw a giant iron military ship in my head and saw my grandfather, Papa in my mind's eye. I gave lots of other information in a very unorganized and jumbled fashion as she just blankly, with no visible emotion, stared at me. The information or "download" came faster than I could share what I was seeing. I finally heard in a voice not my own "say Harold!'' Very startled, I blurted out "who's Harold??".

😮She said, "okay want me to fill you in on all that?" I said yes. She then went on to tell me that her mother’s name is Catherine. She recently had to move her mom into a nursing home and is preparing her childhood home for sale. Her Dad had passed. There is a sunroom in the house that her family has always called the Nantucket Room due to the decorations and style of the room. The flowers she was purchasing were for her Dad's garden which her whole family called "Papa's Circle". She shared that she was one of four children but was the only girl and she was the youngest. As such, she had a very special bond with her Dad, Papa. He was able to be part of her upbringing in a way that he was not able to for her brothers due to being in the military working on big ships. She then told me Harold was her Dad's middle name. I stared at her in disbelief!!!

✨I continued to work with my Shaman on how to interpret these messages. It was still very overwhelming. I was often not able to sleep downloading information with no living person to verify the content. Going to public places was a nightmare. It was a free for all and I was exhausted emotionally, physically, and spiritually. In April 2013, my shaman, Reiki Attuned me to Master Teacher level. She explained that this would help me protect myself; She was right. It changed everything for me. Things calmed down. Information became clearer. I was able to lay boundaries with the spirit world. (Dead people are just like the living- no boundaries🤷🏼‍♀️). I was clear with the other side that I have office hours. Communication in my bedroom was not allowed. That space is just for me and mine. I also was clear that I would invite them when I was ready to communicate. This was a huge relief to my husband, who was my fiance at the time. He used to have to ask me on date night not to do readings for the waitress at dinner 😂. I had told him I had no control over who comes in and when. Now with the higher level Reiki Attunement and guidance from my Shaman I was able to have some restrictions on the communication. Shortly after this, I started working at a local metaphysical healing center. I have worked at several over the years as well as continuing to do readings at events and psychic fairs. Now I exclusively do readings for my private clients from all over the world via phone, video chat, and at in-home parties. I am able to use my experience to help others to honor their own gifts. I love helping people by doing readings and healings and officiating weddings. My calling is teaching others about their gifts. Beyond the Gate has allowed me the opportunity to do this and I could not have more gratitude for it and my students and clients.