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Medium

Medium - Part 1

me·di·um

/ˈmēdēəm/

noun

1.an agency or means of doing something.

"using the latest technology as a medium for job creation"

2.the intervening substance through which impressions are conveyed to the senses or a force acts on objects at a distance.

"radio communication needs no physical medium between the two stations"

💫A medium is exactly what it sounds like - the go between. I am a medium between those who have passed away and their living loved ones. There are lots of types of mediums, far too many for me to go into on this post. So let’s talk about me. Lots of times clients ask "how does it work?".

🙋🏼‍♀️For me, spirits mostly communicate through the 5 basic Clair's(there are many more than 5, but again that's a whole other post): Clairvoyance(clear seeing), Claircognizance (clear knowing), Clairaudience(clear hearing), Clairsentience(clear feeling), and Clairalience(clear smelling).

❤️Now I want to be clear (hahaha), everyone can be a Medium. Most of us blocked the ability out of fear, lack of faith and self confidence, or just general disbelief. Some of us could not avoid it or block it, like me. There was a time when I had no controls over the downloads I would receive and when I would receive them. It overwhelmed my life.

🔮I'd like to share with you how I discovered I was a Psychic Medium and how I was able to find balance in it. It's a very vulnerable and raw account of this part of my life, so I'm going to release it in parts. It's a story I have only shared with my nearest and dearest, mostly those who were with me as this all unfolded.

⭐️It's my hope that by being transparent about my story will help others understand their own gifts and afford me the option to help others along their journey. So stay tuned as I share my story here on this page


Medium - Part 2

👧🏼As a child I could feel other people's feelings, but I did not know they weren't my own. That's intense for a 5 year old! I also had "imaginary friends". I remember that they spoke to me and played with me. As I grew older I became aware of how odd I was in comparison to my peers. I stopped talking to my "imaginary friends" and no longer talked about feeling others emotions. I always felt out of place and odd. I used to ask my mom if I was adopted - like are you sure I'm not adopted??? At least, I thought, that could explain why I feel so different.

🙇🏼‍♀️In my preteen and early teen years I started sharing with a few close friends that I could feel others emotions, but acknowledged that I knew that wasn't a real thing and that I must be crazy. My friends agreed or just didn't respond and awkwardly changed the subject.

🏕The summer before I was to start high school, I went away our annual family trip. We went into town one day and into a bookstore. My sister and I were always allowed to choose 1 item for our parents to buy us and if we wanted a larger priced item, we could use our own money to help off set the cost. I asked my mom to buy me a deck of tarot cards and a book to explain how to use them. I paid for some and she paid for the rest. I immediately felt connected to the cards. I was enamored with them.

🔮I started doing readings for friends. As things I saw in readings started to come to fruition, it was intense and scary and made me seem weirder than I already was. So I stopped reading the cards. The more I ignored my intuition and guidance from spirit, the more my anxiety grew and intensified. I continued with unhealthy habits to manage my anxiety through my high school years and early 20s including self mutilation, food addiction, and ultimately drugs and alcohol. These things all numbed the pain of feeling others emotions and blocked the communication of those passed away. I still did not truly believe I had a gift, but rather that I was crazy and broken.

👶🏼In my first attempt to get sober at 24, I sought help from a psychiatrist who also believed I was crazy and broken. He prescribed a number of psychiatric drugs to help me. These too I believe blocked me. I finally was able to get sober on June 20, 2007 with the help of that doctor, a 12 step program, and later a relationship with a creator of my own understanding. In my early 30s I realized I wanted to become a mom and most of the medications I was taking would not be safe for pregnancy and I wanted to be off all medications for a year before getting pregnant. So, with the help of my doctor, I came off all my psychiatric medications. I was finally medication free. This was a huge turning point.

💫For the first time in my adult life I was stone cold sober and medication free. I was raw. But I was okay. I had a relationship with a higher power, a 12 step program that provided a design for living that really worked, and I was engaged to be married to the partner that was meant for me. I had no idea that in less than two weeks, my whole life would be turned upside down. I was about to embark on a huge journey of self discovery and healing that began with the most painful experience I had endured up until that point in my life.


Medium - Part 3

👰On July 8, 2012, about 2 weeks after coming off the last psychiatric medication, I woke from a dream of my upcoming wedding. I could smell the room, see the colors, and hear the music. The song that was playing was "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. It was the song my dad and I had recently agreed to dance to at my wedding. In the dream I'm sitting at a sweetheart table with my new husband and listening to “I Loved Her First” and feeling so strange. Like I'm supposed to be dancing with Dad right now, but here I am sitting with my new husband instead... I didn't think too much of it, because dreams are weird.

📵At work, I heard a different song on the radio that always made me think of my relationship with my Dad by Mike and the Mechanics called "The Living Years". It wasn't a common song to hear on the radio at work, and I wanted to text my Dad and say hi. But he refused to text. We weren't close enough where I felt I could just call to say hi. I remember being very annoyed with him that I couldn't text him to say hello. The day went on and I didn't notice anything significant about the dream or the song and the desire to reach out.

💔I was woken early on July 9, 2012 by the sound of my cell phone ringing. I started screaming upon opening my eyes. I knew. I looked at the phone and it said "Dad Cell". I answered. It was my father's wife. I'll never forget her shaky voice. "Corrie, ...." "just tell me!!" "your dad passed away". I screamed. I raged and punched the wall. Why didn't I call him yesterday????? I decided to take my dog for a walk that morning, not knowing what to do with myself. As I was walking and crying hysterically , I felt my Dad's energy. It felt very familiar, but also very different. I was uncertain and confused. I heard in my head "I get all the pieces of the puzzle now". Being very alike, we both had huge egos and struggled to talk about our feelings. I grew up with him being pretty direct about our relationship struggles being my fault and responsibility. So to hear that he "gets it" seemed like it could not have come from him.

💫From that day on, I began getting clear connections and communication from spirits. It came in the form of images in my head, sensations in my body, and hearing my own voice in my head give me little pieces of information that made no sense to me. I was very raw, feeling other people's emotions as my own. I had no buffer now without drugs, alcohol or psych meds. I was pretty sure my Father's death had pushed me over the edge from borderline crazy to full blown insane. I was living in chronic physical and emotional pain.

🎁In December 2012 I was out Christmas shopping and stopped into a metaphysical healing center looking for a few gifts. There was a medium there who had 1 appointment left. I didn't believe she could be legit, but felt called to meet with her so I took the appointment. Upon sitting down, I told her with my arms crossed and my most direct skeptical tone that I don't care about the future. I wanted to know about her Mediumship skills.

🧩She looked like she was listening to a conversation I couldn't hear. She then told me she had my Dad there. That he was a strong personality and was a firefighter (he was a retired lieutenant in my hometown and a call firefighter in Maine where his 2nd home was). She told me he died of a heart attack, which was also true. I stared at her in disbelief. I unfolded my arms and the tears came. She then said "he says he sees all the pieces of the puzzle clearly now". I just about died. It was the first PROOF I had that I was not crazy. That I HAD heard my Dad in my head the morning he died.

🕊I told my Mom about the communication I received the morning my Dad died, and the confirmation I received from the medium. I also shared my feelings about being able to feel others emotions. She shared that she could relate and had been working events doing psychic readings for a number of years. I was floored. I had no idea! She suggested I take a quick tarot reading course and start doing these events with her, which I did. I broke out my tarot deck for the first time in years. I started working as a contracted psychic at these 2-5 hour corporate events where we do 5-7 minute tarot readings. I was blown away as the attendees were confirming that what I was seeing was accurate!

💥Maybe I'm not AS crazy as I thought!! But I still did not believe I was psychic, I mean people have premonitions all the time about their own family or loved ones. I could not have known that this was the beginning of something much bigger than I could have ever imagined for myself.


Medium Part 4

📩In January 2013 I met my Shaman. The meeting occurred very naturally. She looked at me from across the room at an event we were both presenting at (unrelated to anything like this) and then came over to me to explain that she was the Spiritual Adviser to a mutual friend (who was running the event) and that she would like to schedule a time to do a reading for me. Immediately during the first reading she told me I was an Empath. This was a term I'd never heard of. But wow - I felt validated for one of the first time in my life! This woman helped me decipher the messages I had been receiving.

🌱Initially I would see people in my peripherals and /or hear people's voices in my ear that "weren't there " . In one particular situation I was working at a retail greenhouse. I was helping a customer and another customer walked passed me. She looked EXACTLY like my childhood friend's mom - but she was younger than she could possibly be. In confusion, I blurted out "Catherine??" This woman looked at me like I had offended her. She paused briefly and said "No."and continued to shop. I felt very awkward and embarrassed. Like obviously it wasn't Mrs. Stover , she would have been 10 or 12 years older, this woman looked even younger that Mrs. Stover was when she used to drive me to school.

🤔When the woman came to the checkout area, I said "I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't offend you. You look like someone I used to know". She very dryly and suspiciously said "what are you some kind of psychic or something" I responded awkwardly "or something hahaha. I don't know". Because even though I had been doing quick 5-7 minute readings at events and my Shaman told me I was an Empath, I still didn't believe it was possible. I had convinced myself that it was all coincidental that these clients were confirming what I was telling them or that they just wanted to believe 🤦🏼‍♀️(I had no idea until recently that this is called Imposter Syndrome. Look it up!). She asked me what I had to share with her. I very sheepishly began to tell her I saw Nantucket Island in my head (which I had never been to, but Mrs. Stover had a connection too.). I told her if she was one of 4 but was special. She was different than the others. I also saw a giant iron military ship in my head and saw my grandfather, Papa in my minds eye. I gave lots of other information in a very unorganized and jumbled fashion as she just blankly with no visible emotion, stared at me. The information or "download" came faster than I could share what I was seeing. I finally heard in a voice not my own "say Harold" very startled, I blurted out "who's Harold??".

😮She said, "okay want me to fill you in on all that?" I said yes. She then went on to tell me her mothers name is Catherine. She recently had to move her mom into a nursing home and is preparing her childhood home for sale. Her Dad is passed. There is a sunroom in the house her family has always called the Nantucket Room due to the decorations and style of the room. The flowers she was purchasing were for her Dad's garden which her whole family called "Papa's Circle". She shared that she was one of 4 children but was the only girl and the youngest. As such she had a very special bond with her Dad, Papa. He was able to be part of her upbringing in a way that he was not able to for her brothers due to being in the military working on big ships. She then told me Harold was her Dad's middle name. I stared at her in disbelief!!!

✨I continued to work with my Shaman on how to interpret these messages. It was still very overwhelming. I was often not able to sleep downloading information with no living person to verify the content. Going in public places was a nightmare. It was a free for all and I was exhausted emotionally , physically, and spiritually. In April 2013, my shaman Reiki attuned me to master teacher level. She explained that this would help me protect myself. She was right. It changed everything for me. Things calmed down. Information became clearer. I was able to lay boundaries with the spirit world. (Dead people are just like the living- no boundaries🤷🏼‍♀️). I was clear with the other side that I have office hours. Communication in my bedroom was not allowed. That space is just for me and mine. I also was clear that I would invite them when I was ready to communicate. This was a huge relief to my husband, who was my fiance at the time. He used to have to ask me on date night not to do readings for the waitress at dinner 😂. I had told him I had no control over who comes in and when. Now with the reiki attunement and guidance from my Shaman I was able to have some restriction on the communication. Shortly after this I started working at a local metaphysical healing center. I have worked at several over the years as well as continuing to do readings at events and psychic fairs. Now I primarily do readings for my private clients from all over the world via phone, video chat, and at in home parties.

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